Throughout my childhood, I was constantly taunted, ridiculed, abused, patronized, and insulted by my peers and, worst of all, my parents—the worst tyrants to walk the Earth since the Bush administration. This comic depicts my hardships, humiliations, misfortunes, and contretemps in a way that subtly, yet wholly, foreshadows my future as an unrelenting, inflexible orator of truth. The unjust crimes committed against me as a child created me into the humyn I am today—I am the Michelangelo of atheists. I catch science in the headlights of my justice and sculpt it in stone. That’s all thanks to my sculpting major, which was DEFINITELY worth several hundreds of thousands of dollars and massive amounts of debt. Bonus points if you can spot all of my brilliant, subtle metaphors. (hint: one metaphor is the the paper bag which represents the false truths fed to us by the Christian tyranny.)
The Stratford Alternative 